Williams Sonoma's Guide to Christmas

I simply am not Williams Sonoma material. I have dog nose prints on all my windows, leftover kraft mac and cheese in the fridge, and my idea of a gift wrap is putting in it a gift bag. Williams Sonoma customers need biscuits that cost 75.00 for their luncheon which are kept in a larder. What the hell is a larder? How is it different from a pantry? In any case, it is fun to peruse the catalog for the most absurd items one can purchase...


Item #54-3800760 Williams-Sonoma Snowflake Marshmallows

Williams-Sonoma says: "Fluffy marshmallows are hand cut and individually dusted."

Price: $5.95. Set of four.

6.00 for 4 marshmallows. That are cut like stars and melt the minute it hits the hot chocolate. Oh wait..they are DUSTED. Totally worth it.

Item #54-5710884 Three Months Of Pork

Williams-Sonoma says: "Includes 2-lb. extra thick bacon steak, 2 lbs. 4 oz. smoked Italian sausage links, and 2 lbs. Heritage Berkshire pork bulk breakfast sausage."

Price: $99.95

Waiitttt a sec.....this is 3 months of pork??? 6 pounds of meat? for 100.00? This is a breakfast meal in our house. And they make you wait for it with baited breath every month.

Items #54-126250 and #54-527879 Butter Making Kit, Rooster Butter Stamp

Williams-Sonoma says: "Just add cream for fresh, flavorful butter in 20 minutes!... A bas-relief rooster image adds a flourish to fresh churned butter"

Price: $29.95 (kit), $9.95 (stamp)

Butter in 20 minutes. Really? Do they mention how you churn for for 20 damn minutes until your arm falls off? That butter would be enough to butter someone's toast. Once. Well, i guess you have the option of stamping the butter. Where's Costco?

Item #54-5062088 Breville Smart Waffle Maker

Williams-Sonoma says: "With 12 browning setting and an 'A Bit More' button that let you add on time until waffles are cooked to perfection."

Price: $199.95 (two-square), $249.95 (four-square)

Now, here is the obvious question. If you have 12 browning settings, you actually need "A BIT MORE" setting?? And truly, i make alot of fucking waffles-how can there be 12 and A BIT MORE browning of waffles? Is level 1 white? Level 5 light tan with streaks of cream? Honey, please hit the "BIT MORE" button...the waffle is brown like toast, but needs more more. Just a bit.

Item #54-5873732 Gingerbread Estate

Williams-Sonoma says: "(not shown)"

Price: $249.95

Notes: What the fuck? I can't see the estate? The house itself is 57 bucks. How much larger is the estate? Is it so large that it can't fit within any standard camera lens? Does it have a fucking golf course? I want a gingerbread estate with a chocolate moat and armed taffy guards and maple butter gates, and if someone tries to break in, my peppermint security alarm alerts an elite group of butter toffee SEAL members to come shoot hot caramel right in your fucking EYE.

Okay, I am getting testy now. Merry Christmas....

Happy Holidays from the Adams!

This will be my official Christmas letter this year, as i am stepping up into the tech world and therefore, you all are too. As I was about to reflect on the last year, I actually had to look at my calendar on my smart phone and determine what exactly I have done all year, as my memory continues to come in and out. Welcome to middle age. Or perhaps I have been here longer than I want to admit.

I can start out the year by saying we enjoyed a great season with the Baltimore Ravens and Maddie got to experience a Super Bowl parade. It set the tone for the year.

I went on a big adventure in April with my mother and brother Tim to Dublin and London. I think there might be some blog posts about the trip here, but it was memorable and big fun. Highlights were Dublin and meeting long lost relatives. Tim might think the last night in Dublin was the best, which resulted in this photo as we left Dublin to London at 5 AM the next morning.

This required long naps and a wonderful English tea filled with carbs. The trip was for my mother's 80th birthday. And a good time was had by all...
In June, Alan, myself, Maddie, and a friend spent a week in the Outer Banks which we haven't done in quite a long time. We brought kayaks, the dog, liquor,and lots of books. Enjoyed by all.

Andrew is working on his degree at Towson University. He has made alot of headway, but changed his major to English so he needs additional classes. He continues to pursue fiber arts and his dad made him a table loom that makes guitar straps and headbands. He also continues his wool hats, which he now makes for babies.

Maddie is a junior in high school and looking at colleges for engineering. We did a road trip to Cleveland at the beginning of November to look at Case Western and take in a Ravens game, the rock and roll hall of fame, and the christmas story house with 7 other friends. We rocked Cleveland and ate foods we have never tried, like bone marrow and fried pigs ears. We have other visits in the spring.

Alan is still working, but has taken on a new job behind a desk. Perfect timing as we get older and creakier. He is raising chickens on our backyard-we have a group? flock? of 7 (I think). Fresh eggs every day.

I am still at the library with many changes coming our way. Open 20 more hours a week and more staff. All I can say is I look forward to retirement.

Lucy the labradoodle is doing well-always looking for her next adventure in the car or bathroom trash can to get into. Moses, who will be 19 on his next birthday, continues to live-mostly outside in warm weather. When he is inside, it is a sad sight-he is mostly blind due to cataracts, can't hear anything, barely waling, and howls all the time. Yet he eats, drinks, and naps all day. Hard to believe he is hanging in there, but perhaps its because his nickname is the Spawn of Satan.

My brother Nick has moved to warmer pastures with his girlfriend Cindy. And he does a great job reminding all of us how warm and beautiful it is in Venice FL.

We are wishing all of you a very happy holiday and healthy New year!

The Adams family

10 things, no wait, 11, that i will miss about Julie

As I spent the afternoon memorializing someone who has been in my life for such a long time, I thought back to the things I will truly miss:



11. Her Crown Vic. Julie really didn't like to drive, but decided if she had to drive, it was going to be a big ass car so people stayed out of her way. And it was very roomy in the back seat to pull over on the highway after a night of partying to 'rest'. After her car was stolen, she went for a smaller, less obtrusive model.

10.Her vast collection of Chuck Taylors.


9.Her musical instruments. Which traveled with her where ever she went. And broke out after a few shots of whiskey. Tamborines, shakers, and thinga-ma-jigs that gave it some rhythm.


8. Road Trips. To the Derby. Enough said.


7. Her vast collection of music. From all walks of life. I learned so much in the music department from her.


6. Her quirky ethnic dinners. We would pick countries as our theme-Polish, Italian, etc. Julie did things the country of Saladia (only salads)and "10"-to celebrate my wedding anniversary. Everything had to refer to 10. 10 ingredients, tenderloin, 10 layers. It was her love of food- preparing it, eating it, sharing it.

5. Orioles baseball. We met regularly to watch games at Camden Yards and she never failed to bring her pom poms.

4. Her birthday cakes. She perfected them.

3. Her finger on the pulse. When I had my annual party every year, I would call her a couple of days ahead to find out who was coming. It was like having a social secretary.

2. her love of British literature and film. Okay, I might not miss that so much, but respected her love for it. And we both loved Downton Abbey.

1. Her humor. And her great love for life.

Go forth and be at peace. We all will miss you terribly.

A week of thanks

The holidays are upon us..sort of sneaked in while we weren't looking. This week is by far my favorite holiday...Thanksgiving. it is all about eating, drinking, football, socializing, and eating. No pressures. A day of gluttony. In a good way. I have many memorable Thanksgivings over the years thanks to my foodie parents and their crazy friends and family. My mother loves this holiday and it shows in her massive preparation of every side dish and pie known to man.
In the days where she lived in Annapolis in a small yet adequate duplex, our dinners were big and boisterous. It required 2 kitchens, as 2 turkeys were prepared while the plethera of side dishes were prepared. Let's talk about side dishes for a second. She has always opted for tradition-things that were on her table from her grandmother. That would include celery salad (which sits in a beautiful turkey shaped bowl and remains untouched by anyone's hands), mashed rutabagas (oh yeah, these are popular. Not.), creamed caulifower and pearl onions (I am on the fence about this one..its just a big white food), and cranberry sorbet (not thats a great idea...cleanse the palate for more eating). Since she married my father, she had many thanksgiving dinners with pigs feet and sauerkraut. We have nixed the pigs feet and I am ever so grateful. We kept the Baltimore tradition of sauerkraut and updated it to red cabbage. In fact , some dishes have been updated-rutabagas are now winter puree with carrots and parsnips. We added dried corn and brussel sprouts. There is now some green foods on the table to enhance the orange, brown, and white.
So, 2 kitchens to cook for 18. Once the dinner was served, it was time for after dinner apertifs. Which at this particular dinner ended up being consumed under the dining room table. One year as we prepared for dinner, we searched for the roasting pan that belonged to my great grandmother. We found it. On the back porch. With the carcass of last years turkey still in it.
Ahhh...another year. Bring it on.

ALS update

I am going to take a moment out of my regular light-hearted posts to vent and share an emotionally charged day today. As all of you know, my dear friend Julie is suffering from ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) for the last 2 years. It has slowly robbed her of her ability to use her hands, lift a coffee cup, walk to the bathroom, eat, and now the ability to speak in a coherent manner. Soon, breathing will not be possible. I had my regular visit today and was greeted on the porch by Sally, her sister. She wanted me to be aware of the changes that have just occurred in the last 9 days since I have seen her.
Yep, 9 days ago, she had been eating some soft foods. Once she was on a roll with talking, I could understand 70 percent of what she wanted to share. Today, she is on morphine every 2 hours. She is not eating, but able to sip water and other liquids. She faded in and out when I was there. I understood nothing. Except a comment she made about not being able to share her jokes because people didn't understand her anymore (last time I was there she told me she was like Helen Keller..and her words were the same..water is now waaaaaaaaaa). I also understood I love you. She can move her head slightly. She can look right at you intensely in hopes you know what she is trying to say in her silence. And I did. She can cry. And we can share that as well. Hardest thing about this? Knowing behind her non ability to speak is Julie. Who I have known and loved for 35 plus years. Too bad I can't jump into her brain for a while and chat. Like old times.
I so miss her silliness. I miss her adeptness to find complicated situations and make a big joke out of it. I miss her playing the saxophone, even though she hasn't played for quite some time. Oh, how I miss dancing with her. Playing darts at the dart parties. Late nights in Baltimore where we would go home at 1 AM to get money to drink more, even though the bars closed in 20 minutes. I miss her musical instruments that always came with her to parties. I just miss her even though she is still here.
No one should have to suffer from something like this. It's inhumane, cruel, and miserable. Yet, as I left her this afternoon in tears, she simply looked at me and said "Waaaaaaaaaaa......" I left with laughter.

Julie died Sunday morning, November 17th quietly at her home. She had the great fortune in being able to live in her house til the end and be cared for by friends, family, and caretakers. Her friends came regularly to share shots of tequila and fabulous prepared food when she still capable of swallowing. She shared lots of laughter despite what she was facing and she was determined to focus on what was good and present, not what was coming. She made it to a baseball game where they arranged a skybox for us. There were regular girl's weekends, baseball watching, and making sure her cats got attention as Julie lost her ability to pet them. We love her sisters for making it possible to have Julie live and be where she most wanted to be-her home with her animals surrounded with all the people who loved her. Peace has arrived for her, which brings some comfort. Go ahead.

Road Trip

Mt good friend Julie is headed to Dubai with her daughter to celebrate her 16th birthday. They are staying in the Marriott Marquia..1000 a night. She is a travel agent and has a few perks.
Maddie just turned 16 as well and I thought a road trip was in order as well. So, we are heading to..wait for it...Cleveland! Yes, I know, try not to be too envious. I am not a travel agent and have to work with a librarian salary. But on the up side, we are travelling with good friends and Laura and Sean from Denver are meeting us there. We are going to make the most of it. A dinner reservation at Michael Symon's restaurant. A trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. A Ravens game on Sunday. And a visit to the Christmas story house and museum (probably a highlight).never mind that the temps are in the 40's...
We are also checking out a college in Cleveland called Case Western..known for engineering. Probably not a front runner, simply because of the winters there, but perhaps knowing she is an hour from the best amusement park in the United States might sway here. Cedar Point is the roller coaster capital in the world. SShh...don't tell her...

more blues than belly laughs

Sometimes when I find life incredibly frustrating, my blog allows me to vent...and you all are the happy recipients if you choose to read it. We are entering the tail end of the varsity field hockey season here at our local high school and I have to admit I am counting down the minutes. Let's run down the list of responsiblities outside the actual GAME that we (the parents) are responsible for:

1. Team Dinners.The night before each away game, the parents are asked to host a team dinner, where we feed all 40 girls at our home so the girls have time to bond and socialize. Yep, 40. Maddie makes an appearance, eats in 10 minutes, and has us pick her up. So much for bonding on a night of homework with 5 AP classes.

2. Sister bags. Every away game, we give a girl on the junior varsity team a bag of goodies, candy (we are talking movie theater size), snacks, drinks, and in past years, little pencil games, yoyos, silly putty, tattoos...it has become a competition of who has the best bag. No surprize there...they all play sports.

3. The new coach introduced field hockey homework. I suppose we need to tackle that after Maddie finishes her calc packet with 195 calc problems. And her AP Bio assignment.
She also thought bonding with the other team is important. So we hosted a 'tea' after our game with Arundel (where they beat us 7-1)-everyone brought in drinks, fruits, snacks, and granola bars. Girls walked up, shoved granola bars in their backpacks, and left the field.

4. Senior Night. Seniors are honored their last regular season game. That would include glitzy posters with their pics on them, flowers for each girl, a balloon arch, a vat of crab soup that we sell at the snack shack..all seniors and their parents get it for free(parents usually make cream of crab soup-a highlight. This year our boosters, who support all chesapeake sports, got it at a local seafood place and it was vegetable soup that ran out before the game was half over), pictures, and a gift. A previous year, they were given Pandora bracelets (this won't happen again because we don't have a budget for it because we spent the budget on bracelets).

5. End of season party. Not so bad..we rent a hall and parents bring food. But apparently the tradition is to give each girl an ornament to remember the season by. Never mind that perhaps there are girls who are not Christian. And that each ornament is made by yet another parent at the cost of 4-5 a piece. 200.00. for a trinket that ends up at the bottom of the gym bag.

I am not even sharing positives about the actual sport, where it seems winning is much more important than the team spirit. I know they play at a different level on varsity, but why have a group of 6 girls on the sidelines who only play for 2 minutes? Because the girls who stay in the game for the entire time are club level players. And unless you are willing to send your child to a club level group for a cost of 1000 dollars or more, you are out of luck on the high school level.
Give me tennis. Any day.

another library chapter....

Happening in our branches....

Meltdown in the Bathroom

“About 5:40 pm I noticed a man standing by the brick wall outside the bathrooms talking on his phone. He was talking pretty loud. All of a sudden I could hear yelling from inside the men's bathroom. The occupant must have thought he was being talked to thru the door because he was yelling "back off I'm urinating in here you're going to give me a fucking heart attack" The guard was knocking on the door telling the guy to come out. When he came out we learned it was the homeless man, with the green shorts and (now) brown shirt, that is in here all the time. He came out yelling and pointing to the ceiling saying this is all on camera.”

Officer Larson:

“The suspect…was yelling and screaming in the men’s bathroom. I responded to the location banged on the door for several minutes. Suspect opened door and I entered the bathroom with suspect. I asked him what’s wrong, what’s going on? He stated the patron (witness William) was harassing him. The witness was talking on his cell phone about hot rods. He started cursing and threatening. I told him to calm down. After I was satisfied that I had him under control the suspect and I departed the men’s room. When he came out the suspect screamed at the witness. He departed the area on his own. The witness was just talking on his cell phone. He was waiting to use the bathroom. The suspect for some reason thought Mr. R. was talking about him. I know this was not true. Mr. R. was talking about hot rod, bikes, etc.

Also during the day I noticed he was talking a lot to himself in front of computers.

Lost and Found Shopper

At approximately 12:20, a man approached Lynn at the circulation desk and told her that he lost his iPad, touchscreen cell phone, gold bracelet and sunglasses. Lynn checked the drawer and had none of those items. As she was looking in the drawer, he saw another cell phone and told Lynn that it belonged to his girlfriend and he would just go ahead and take it. Lynn informed him that his girlfriend would need to come in and pick it up.

The man is the same person who has attempted this clever trick twice before at the branch.

Lady Changes Clothes in Stacks


We had several incidences with a young lady who spent most of her time at our computers near the hold shelves on Monday. She displayed some signs of being intoxicated but we did not smell liquor or see her drink liquor in the library. An empty vodka bottle was found in the trash by our custodian today. At one point she used the circ desk phone and it was overheard that she told the person on the other end that she had peed her pants at the library. She spent some time in the bathroom (long enough that I went and knocked and checked on her (around 7pm) and took Ralph our guard with me to stand outside the restroom, she said she was ok and was drying her pants. She for a while wore a sweatshirt sort of as a skirt. This look was not really indecent (though odd). I did have to speak with her a few times about playing music and singing along in the library. Upon review of our video surveillance system today it is clear that around 8:10 she takes the sweatshirt off her bottom half near computer 15, runs into the stacks in her underwear and puts on her pants. She left without incident not long after this (though she did say she would see us tomorrow). After reviewing the tape and speaking with our Area Supervisor we have decided to ban the patron for a period of one month for indecent exposure as well as general disruptive behavior. A banning letter has been printed and is at the information desk. We do not know her name or card number. As an additional note there is an incident report about her and similar behavior from last fall and we believe this is the first time she has been in since then.

community prez

So, in a moment of insanity, I agreed to run for president of our community association. I had secretly hoped I would lose, at the same time we have had no leadership in a long time and I suppose someone needed to step up. Unfortunately, this is a trend across America..the lack of interest and time to give back to the community. And besides, I had just been instrumental in reducing our board meetings to 4 times a year..I can handle 4 meetings a year, right? I ran against the vice president, who had to step in because the president flew the coop. I won 6-3, despite my good friend Sherry who did not vote for me to save me from myself.
I was feeling like this was manageable-until I paid a visit to the former prez who left office. He congratulated me and indicated that the fun is just beginning..wait until i start receiving registered letters and lawsuit papers in the mail. Now, I really didn't sign up for all that. And apparently he often spent time at community properties cutting the grass to avoid complaints from the 84 year old man who lived next door. I don't roll lawn mowers down the road to cut lawns. That's why we have lawn services.
Then yesterday, a board member dropped by my house to give me THE PRESIDENTIAL BRIEFCASE. It is a briefcase that dates back to the 60's, old, black, and boxy. I felt like I needed one of those chains and locks to your wrist when the exchange was made. It contains many secret things that the president needs and apparently, carries to every board meeting. I waited to open it-I was a little frightened to know what might be in it. Gold? Secrets about the neighbors? Classified information from 1920? Finally I gathered muster and unlocked the box..only to find a treasure trove of historical documents and unfinished business. Property plats, lawsuit papers, checks written a year ago, minutes from 6 years ago, registered letters (there is that request to cut the grass) and a booklet on the laws governing pets in Anne Arundel County. Which would not be unusual, but it had been highlighted with post it notes about the perils of cats.
And so my term begins. One complaint about trash location. And the use of a road in the community. So far, so good. I'll keep you posted.

ode to dad

Today would have been my father's 85 birthday had he lived past 59. It is a good day to reflect on him and his impact on our family, as well as his colorful and amusing life. I would not have pursued my career as a librarian had it not been for my dad. I spent a good part of my late teens and early 20's attending library conferences, which actually meant a big party opportunity for my father. We attended all free food and alcohol events vendors offered librarians. Meetings required sticking your head in the door and moving on to the closest bar for a drinkie poo.
Because he lived near new york, caravans of me and my friends would travel to see him and his best friend Betty, who was always kind enough to put us up for the weekend. It always involved drinking and debauchery..in that order.
My parents separated when I was around 11 and he would come visit every 2 weeks. I think he finally stepped up in the decade and purchased a mustang. Our previous "new" cars were usually 2 decades behind..our excitement would build knowing he was coming home with a new car, which turned out to be a 1958 plymouth with big fins on the bumpers. And holes in the floor board. We never were much of a car family...
Not everything was fun and frolic with my dad, but this is a time to remember the good times. He had his share of struggles, but hell, he had a great time dealing with them.

10 things I love about Maddie

Fair's fair...although I am sure she is groaning with embarrassment...

10. Sense of Humor. She has a silly side which I can relate to. And being smart lends well to a witty humor. Commentary from kids at school that know her...she is funny. Only one that might not think so is her former french teacher. But he is an odd one anyway.

9. Generosity. She will volunteer for almost anything. Except maybe cleaning out her dad's chicken coop. But she has been with me on a cold rainy morning to support ALS, will play games with the homeless, will help her neighbor's kids with reading, and actively LOOKS for volunteer opportunities. What teen does that?

8. Style. She knows what looks good on her without pushing the envelope. She turns her nose up to streetwalker prom dresses. She is trendy, yet has little interest in following the push for designer brands.

7. Thrifyness. Okay, this really might have to do with her very clear understanding of money and the power it holds. She has always made money babysitting and dog sitting and well aware of the cost of things and if its too expensive, she leaves it alone. She likes money and likes having money. She shops sales, looks for the best bargain, and compromises when it comes to that 70.00 polo shirt. Now that's my girl.

6. Her relentless energy. Thank god she plays sports. She is my dog walker/runner. She will fetch things for her very tired and quasi old mother without complaint. She leaps the steps in 3 bounds. Not to say she enjoys a night of being a couch potato or sleeping in. But once she's up, she hits the ground running. Wish we could bottle that.

5. Her organization. I glanced at her school notebook the other day. Pristine with tabs for homework, class notes, and subject. Paperwork for school is on time and presented to me the minute she gets it. She actually uses her planner. Now granted, her room looks like a bomb went off in it, but as she has told me..she knows what is in each quadrant of floor space. Guess it works. Now if I could only get her to make her bed.... And maybe put dishes in the dishwasher...

4.Enthusiasm. Like her brother, she loves new experiences . She loves to look forward to something. She is an awesome travel companion, where anything goes with great joy. She loves new restaurants..only thing she wanted for her phenomenal report card was a trip to Helmund, an Afghan restaurant. If it involves fun, she is even willing to get up before the sun. Now that's commitment...

3. Compassion and loyalty. Maddie will defend the underdogs. She has a soft spot for those who are a bit 'different'. She actually called someone out in the hallway for talkin smack about someone. She is fiercely loyal to her friends. And expects the same in return.

2. Her intelligence. She runs circles around me in the math department. Well, that might not be a good example, since I have the ability of a 6th grader. It's her flawless grades, her voracious reading, and her love for learning if the teacher is someone who she relates to.

1. Her love of cooking. And baking. And what foodie wouldn't love that??

10 things I love About Andrew

It was time to pay a homage to David Letterman....

10. Andrew's humor. Of course, i say that because our humor is the same and I find it very relatable. It is a bit sarcastic and quick. We all appreciate that when it comes to laughter. It SO reminds me of my brother Chris.

9.Reading Habits. His taste is quirky, with a love for authors who find life absurd and somewhat tragic. George Saunders, Davis Foster Wallace, VOnnegut...they speak their truth and no one understands them. Except Andrew perhaps. I will post a postscript that he is also a bit of a reading snob. No main stream stuff. And don't even MENTION a Kindle.

8. He has a great appreciation for the absurdity of life. He finds chicken ownership interesting, yet bonding with his dad over dumpster diving to feed them a bit humorous. He loves reality TV, but draws the line at Honey Boo Boo. But he will watch strange addictions. And food network.

7. Writing. Below is a story Andrew wrote while at Warren Wilson College about being a small child and having a nightmare:
"It was all a careful ritual. The boy needed to fixate on the nothingness. This was because if he broke this quiet meditation and thought about any one thing in particular, his mind would trip and stumbles down the wooden bunk bed, into the silver glass of morbid perversion. The sound of raindrops hitting the roof became dastardly footsteps walking down the hallway. The shadows made from car headlights fragmented into bent contorted figures, plastered like black tree trunks on the baby blue walls. Worst of all, his reflected image in the mirror on the adjacent wall would mutate into the crimson woman with hollow eyes and jagged toothy smile. The quiet terror of her projection made the child avert his gaze in the solitude of his dark room. He tried facing away from the mirror towards the wall, but thought about his eyeballs rolled around in their sockets, staring backwards at her grotesque frame."
Andrew's command of the English language is impeccable.

6.Kindness. He will do anything for anyone he cares about..or even all those crazy customers who walk into CVS. Well, there are times where i will ask him and he will ask for monetary compensation. That's simply survival skills.

5. Creativity. Warren Wilson College introduced him to the love of the fiber arts. he learned to weave and spin and carried home a love to anything related to yarn. We all had wool hats for winter..well, we got them for free-friends and neighbors paid for them. Now we are onto the god's eye. In a big way.

4.Fashion sense. Now generally I find his style eclectic and fun. He is a big fan of bow ties (NO clip ons), suspenders, bollos, panchos, and my favorite-a tie that was woven at Warren Wilson on a loom. I do draw the line with his New Delhi style pantaloons he found in the free cycle at warren wilson and his new Native American patterned muscle shirt. And perhaps his footwear could use some updating.

3. Love of music. It permeates the house. In CD, Album, and ipod form. And there are moments when friends come over for a little jam of guitar, mandolin, and violin. I would know nothing about today's progressive music. And sometimes I really don't want to know, from what I hear. Sometimes its just a song of moaning or squeaking.

2. Sense of Adventure. Everything is an experience worth living and absorbing. A trip to Baltimore to watch outdoor films. A new restaurant. A new recipe-which, I might add, can be a little unusual in the contents but its seems to work. A new piece of music. A new travelling experience. Which is why that should be a goal after college.

1.Hair. He has so much of it. And I have so little....

and in library news...

I just did a quick check of what was going on in our libraries this week and I have to say the titles were more intriguing than the actual stories....

NCO GORILLA INCIDENT

At approximately 4:45 PM Page David reported to Susie that he saw a young woman stuffing our Gorilla puppet into her satchel. At that time, she was using public computer #1 in the Adult area. When she became aware that David had witnessed this action, he politely said to her something like, “Hi, I noticed that you were putting our puppet in your bag . . .” at which she pulled the gorilla out of her bag and gave it to him without speaking.



This incident occurred near the end of David’s shift, but he mentioned that, much earlier, at the beginning of that shift, which began at 1:00 PM, he had noticed the gorilla on the floor next to the belongings of that same patron who was with a young boy, presumably her son, in the children’s area. (These puppets/stuffed animals are usually displayed on high shelves in this area.) As mentioned above, it was much later that he saw the gorilla again when he was working on the opposite end of the library near PC#1. At that time he noticed the gorilla on the floor next to the patron’s satchel before she placed it in her bag.

Suspicious person wrapped in foil sleeping on branch property

· Gi arrived at 8:10am.

· She noticed a “foil” (what the bag looks like is a space blanket sleeping bag) sleeping bag next to the Verizon hub/shed building.

· In the past on Monday mornings when Gi noticed the “foil” sleeping bag on our property it usually had a person sleeping in it, but closer to the shopping center parking lot. She has always reported this to Vernon & Michele.

· A strong smell of marijuana was in air and Gi decided before going into the building to call our non-emergency police number from her vehicle and ask for an Officer to check on sleeping person(s).

· As I was speaking to the dispatch our AA County Police community officer came into the parking lot and I spoke with him.

· Cpl. J.walked around the sleeping bag and then yelled to him to wake up and move on. Cpl. J. waited for him to sit up, put his shoes on, gather his items and he did leave going towards the parking lot.

· Cpl. J. shared with us (at this point my co-worker Anita was in the parking lot with us) the gentleman in the sleeping bag is an older African American male his name is James well known in the area & will leave property when told.

· Cpl. J. was glad we called and encouraged us to do so whenever we had that uncomfortable feeling.

Noisy children petition

During the 3 o'clock hour circ staff asked a patron to tell the information staff about a man who approached her to sign a petition requesting library staff to ask patrons with noisy children to leave the building. The patron found the petition topic offensive and was unhappy that the man approached her with his petition. The patron wanted staff to be aware of what the man was doing. By the time I returned from helping a patron the petitioner had left. Jean recognized the patron as one of our regulars but doesn't know his name. If he comes in again I will let this person know what the proper procedure is for circulating petitions.

Charles Escalates His Complaints About Children in the Library

Mr. B. uses the library almost daily. For the past year he has complained to the circ staff about children using the library. He has referred to the children in the building as "roaches," among other things. He has said that he hopes all the children and people under 50 years will go to the new branch so that he can continue to use this branch without them. Circ staff try to ignore his comments and not feed into it.

On 6/6/13 Lynn reported the following:

"When Mr. B came to the check-out desk today, he asked me, "Do you have a stick?" When I replied "My stick?", I believe he motioned to the J area, because it prompted me to tell him that he would get used to it, because with school out, there would be more children in the branch. His reply was that "crime rates would go up." I said "crime rates?" and he said "because of the hoodlums."



On 8/23/13 Marie overheard the following:

Mr. B. came to Lynn at checkout and began to complain about the limited selection of new titles. He was upset that of his 60 plus holds approximately 30 were position 0 so they were on order. He then began to complain about what he read in the Capital about the library system getting increased funds. His wording was that "we are getting 800 zillion dollars in new funding and the main dweeb said it was all going to children's programming." Lynn talked with him for quite a while, explaining the library system's new initiatives and trying to direct any further questions/complaints to the Area Supervisor or Library Headquarters.



On 8/26/13 Carol had the following interaction with Mr. B:

Mr. B said "Did you hear that sound this morning?" Carol said "No, what?" Mr. B said "It is the sound of the crime rate going down because the kids are back in school."

marcia

I am spending a beautiful evening on my deck drinking wine and enjoying 80 degree low humidity weather in August. Marcia, my dearest friend forever-or, as some call them..my BFF, has come for a long overdue visit. And even though her distance is only an hour, her life is always been a state of flux. Which is what I love about her. Alan asked me why we hadn't seen her all summer and the answer required a dissertation.
She is spontaneous and driven by her heart not always her head. She has a beautiful daughter named Athena who is fathered by a handsome hispanic she worked with in a restaurant in her early 30's. They made a run at a relationship and lived together for 2 weeks. Best thing to come out of that short lived relationship was Athena. her other realtionships were results of online dating. peter lasted less than a year. Fred was 6 years until he died of a tragic motorcycle accident.
She is athereal, cosmic, and spiritual. She teached yoga to seniors, is a massage therapist, and throws in healing touch anytime she has the opportunity. She is silly, positive, and moves with the wind.
Having a visit with her is like a shot of happiness. How lucky we all are to have people like this on our lives.

Goat Drama

I live in a typical suburban neighborhood, fairly conservative with a population that boats, drives pick ups, and vote Republican. I'd say we might be a bit of the exception-little more liberal with our viewpoints, yet Alan comes from a farming background so we have introduced some of those concepts in the neighborhood. Alan's garden is the talk of the neighborhood and certainly when we acquired chickens, that was the new topic of chatter. Since the arrival of the chickens nearly a year ago, our neighbors are catching the fever. One neighbor has also acquired chickens with a very posh chicken Taj Mahal. Their next door neighbor is in the process of building a coop as well and will be adopting some of the chicks we just hatched last month. This is the second batch-not as successful as the first (and not as much of a novelty)-he started out with 9 and one fell into the water bowl and drowned and the other simply got sick and died. Ah well..these are the hardships of owning poultry where their brains are the size of a pea.
So, our other neighbor who doe not own chickens, made a bold move to own goats. he has alot of grasses along the water edge he would like to have the goats eat. I am not one to argue the fine points of goat ownership since my understanding in what I see on a petting farm, but we are on a roll here in the 'dena. Farm animals rule.
Okay, Dave the goat owner has a very nice little fenced pen for Cocoa and Cream (the pygmy goats). However, within 24 hours, someone reported him and the animal control told him he needed to build them a nice shelter, with a roof and such. Shag carpeting? Big screen TV? Maybe some air conditioning? So, he is working on that. In the meantime, goats like to eat hay when it is above their heads (not on the ground). I really don't know why, but it is what they do. Dave went to a feed store and purchased a hay container which hung above the heads of the goats. This is the upsetting part of my story so fair warning..apparently Cream got her horns caught in the hay container and well, met the goat gods in heaven. Very sad for the family in the short time they knew her and apparently very distressful for Cocoa, Cream's life partner. The poor thing was visibly shaken (although I am not sure how you can tell). Dave, being the animal lover he was, made a decision to get another goat that evening to help Coca get over her loss.
Dave comes home with another goat..this one is a lactating goat. This makes Alan very happy..he is a big fan of goat's milk. The following morning Bill, who was up at 6 AM, here's a goat in distress.huge bleeping noises and goat yelling. He looks out his window and there is Cocoa screeching down Diana Drive. Being the good neighbor that he is, he goes after it. Cocoa has run away from home and ran to the chicken owners house for salvation. Dave is alerted-they go over to get Cocoa..she is gone again. Now there is a goat search party that has been formed. They combed neighbor's yards calling for Cocoa...which brings me to this point. How does one call for a goat? Bill asked neighbors if they had seen a goat...which was met with great confusion and many questions.
After a solid hour of searching Cocoa was found in Ken and Pat's yard (where she had been all along) next to the chickens under a table.
From what I can gather once she was returned, there is a battle going on with the new goat and Cocoa as to who was going to be the alpha. An argument ensued and Cocoa left home, apparently she lost the battle.
Meanwhile, Alan has been reporting to Dave's on a regular basis to milk the goat. God help us all....

from the pages of other libraries....

Annoying old guy: Hey, guess what, my last two wives were librarians. Want to see my scars?


Dragons
A customer shared the following fact with me just now: "Dragons are actually good. They are like uncles to all of us."


T-shirts
As I am rushing across the library with several things in my hands, a lady says "Excuse me, ma'am, can you help me over here?"
Her t-shirt is printed with: "Oh yes, let me just drop everything and deal with your problem."

Later: a GIANT man in a t-shirt that says FUCK! comes up to me at the children's desk and asks if we have "At the End of the Sidewalk" by Shel Silverstein.


Interesting person of the week
A guy was here the other day and very upset that we didn't have any books in stock on how to make holograms [I was impressed we even owned any at all] --"I'm an inventor! It's the government, they're censoring me, etc etc."

Today he came back wanting books on kelp (he's going to make a fuel out of it), and told me this:

"I saw the Beatles and they told me I'd be the one to invent this!"
Me: The Beatles told you?
Him: "Yes, I'm telepathic."

He also said he speaks to Bill Gates by telepathy, but he doesn't like to admit it because he's a "sinner" for having stolen the GUI from Steve Jobs. Fair point.


Woman @ the RFID checkout tells me that the screen says that she can't check out. I look at her account and tell her that she has $64 in fines. I tell her that the fines are for overdue materials.

Woman: What do you mean?
Me: It is x amount per day, and these books are more than a month late.
Woman: I didn't know there was a due date... that's why I checked out so many of these kids books.
Me: The due dates are on the receipt.
Woman: I threw away the receipt. I just thought we could take as many as we want and return them when we can. I never heard of a "due date." OMG, my husband is going to kill me!


SOME information
Lady: (looking at big "Information" sign above the desk) Information, huh? I need some information--how can I get two thousand and fifty dollars in three days?

Me: Uh...if I knew that, I wouldn't be working here!

Lady: (laughs) That was a good question, wasn't it!

Me: Sure was!

Lady: You should change that sign to say "Some Information, Not All".

Me: You're absolutely right.



The Straight Story
The List Guy can't find one of the books he has checked out and wants to pay for it.

Me: Why don't you wait a little while and see if you find it?

LG: No, I gave it to the witches' coven at Jack in the Box in exchange for a meal or they wouldn't let me come in there any more.

Me: Wow, I guess you'd better pay for it then.

LG: Actually my brother Dave took it for a hundred thousand dollars. But he's president now. He was elected. We both were. We're Big Dave and Big Steve. [LG's name isn't Steve]

Throw back weekend

I love summer simply because your free time is your own time and no one else's. No demands of sports, homework help, after school meetings, or work headaches (aside from the normal ones who might walk in the door).I am always searching for new experiences that are low cost on the weekends. I combed the Live section of the Sun..cover story was about the Baltimore Theater Project who were presenting a theater production with vegetable animals and people. At least I think that was what it was. i just could not wrap my head around this..do they use the veggies as puppets and move them with their hands? Is it a film? I knew this would be a hard sell on Maddie (hey, want to go watch vegetables in a ....uh.....production....?). Okay. No. Not many theaters are active in the summer, so I moved onto movies. We have been wanting to go to Benji's Drive In in Middle River forever and here was a great opportunity. The evening was an unusual cool one..perfect for a drive in.
Benji's drive in has been in existence since the 1950's, but some things have changed. Obviously, the speakers you used to hook onto your car no longer exist (but the poles are still there). The film quality is digital-not like those old reels we used to watch. But I think what has changed is the rules. I understand the need to set some boundaries to ensure the quality of your experience. But Benji's takes this to a new level. here is what we experienced in the first 10 minutes of arriving:

Box Office: How many?
Me: 2 of us.
BO: That is 18.00. Only cash, No credit cards.
Me: Okay.
BO: you have to turn off your lights.
Me: They are running lights. They are always on.
BO: We only allow yellow running lights. You need to turn off your car. press your foot on the parking break until it clicks once. then turn on your engine and continue to drive to your location with your brakes on.
Me: You want me to drive with my foot on the brake???
BO: No. you leave your parking break on until u park. Don't get out of your car. Don't walk back to the box office. Do you have any outside food? If you do, there are restrictions. You have to pay 10.00.
We inch forward. More signs with rules.
We are approached by another worker.
Worker: Welcome to benji's. You need to park in designated areas with yellow poles only or Row 10 or behind Benji's if there is room. (I never caught any of that).

We find our space with a yellow pole. We are asked to re=park the car..to squeeze another car in between 2 poles.
We go to the snack bar. One line for express. One for regular food. No eating your popcorn in line as you wait to pay. no butter allowed on personal food. no smoking 15 feet from snack bar....
Once the movie starts, the owner comes on 20 minutes before the film to share the house rules.
I counted 48 rules.
So, if you can follow house rules, you will enjoy yourself....

Saturday, my mother bought 5.00 tickets for us to see fluid movement perform at Druid Hill Park. They are an artistic synchronized swimming group of men and women all sixes, shapes, and ages. With a very low budget. They performed Moby Dick. They do take sychronization very seriously, despite the silliness of the costumes and production. Worth every penny...and perhaps entertaining the idea of joining them. They have lots of fun. They put Esther Williams to shame.

Time to top off the weekend with some Real Housewives and Princesses of Long island.

incidents reported

Yep..its summer at the library....

Several months ago, a man told me that he had lost his iPhone in the library. He could not, however, give a description or a color and was very vague about when he might have lost it. I told him I did not have an iPhone in Lost & Found, but he could leave his name and number and if it was turned in, I would phone him. He declined to give me any information. This morning, a man came in that I believe was the same man as before. This time he told me that he lost an iPhone, iPod, gold bracelet, gold ring and an iPad. I told him that I had none of those items in Lost & Found. Again, he was very vague and could not tell me when he thought he may have left this bounty of items here or a description of the items. I told him that he could call the police and make a report or leave his name and number with me. He declined to do either of those things. I believe this man is clearly "shopping" in the branch in the hopes that our Lost & Found will have some/all of the items and that we would simply hand them over



At approximately 12:55pm, Sandy pulled me aside to tell me about an issue a patron had just reported to her. The patron, was working on PC#19 when he noticed that the man seated next to him on PC#20 was "looking at young girls" on the computer and moving his hand under the table in a way that suggested he was engaging in masturbation.

I approached the patron in question at #20, noticing that he was on YouTube but was now quickly shutting down his browser upon my appearance. One of his hands was below the desk but it was not clear if he was actually masturbating at that point. I told the patron that I had received reports that he was engaging in inappropriate activity at the computer. Appearing flustered and with a shaky voice, he denied the claim, saying he was just "doing Internet stuff." I then informed him that engaging in such activities would result in him being asked to leave the library. He acknowledged my comment but then quickly exited his computer session and left the building on the parking lot side before we could speak with him any further.


At about 11:45 Circulation Staffers observed an adult male patron at PC 24 filming the woman on PC 23 next to him. They saw him casually posture his phone against his face and then move the phone down her body. When the woman walked to the APM he turned the phone so he could film her moving.

At this point M. reported to me what she had seen. We quickly retrieved the PZ he used to log on to the computer, but were unable to get the woman's information since she had already logged off SAM. I called 911 to report the man's behavior and an Officer was dispatched to the branch.

M. approached the woman to let her know what she witnessed and got her name and phone number. While I was talking to the Officer outside Circulation Supervisor She reported that the man had just gotten into his car. P. was not able to note his complete tag number because the plate was dirty and a frame covered some of the plate. She did say that it appeared to be a newer silver VW. M. was able to positively identify the man using the name he logged on to SAM compared to his MVA information that Officer Teare showed her.

Officer Teare said that he would also speak to the patron, but that it was not illegal to film anyone unless it was under a door, etc. He agreed with staff that the patron's actions were unsettling and he thanked us for calling him.

meanwhile, at your local library...

Ah, the woes of leasing property to have a library. We have been housed in this location for 20 years and without problems. We had an absentee landlord who puts minimal effort into commercial properties and as you can see from the pic, we have paid the price.

Perhaps the biggest issue is our roof, which is flat and, I know this is surprizing, prone to leak. Finally, after dealing with leaks and damaged books for 18 years, they finally contracted a new roof in December of 2011. Pic says it all...we had torrential rains during the project and we lost 80 percent of ceiling tiles due to water pouring into the building. We had to close to 2 weeks. And to add insult to injury, a staff member reported the problem to Maryland Occupational and Safety Admin. Have to say, that might have been the closest I have come to retiring.
So here we are, 18 months alter and the rent for the next 6 months is due (we pay 6 months in advance). landlord's attorney has accused the county of not paying and plans to start the eviction process today. Now the county may do alot of questionable things, but rent payments is not one of them. However, this does beg the question..."how does one evict a library?" Throw all the books out on the sidewalk? Remove shelving? Good luck with that....
In any case, stay tuned....lease is still not signed. i may be looking for a basement to operate out of.

Summer reading!

My apologies to my loyal followers-all 6 of you! I have been so busy and not made many visits to my blog.
I HAVE been doing alot of reading however, and thought it would be the a good time to make some recommendations (as I have done before long ago). After all, that is what I do all day.....
Some of these titles I am currently reading, have read, or have it on my list to read this summer. I hope you enjoy. I have a much larger list on www.goodreads.com it is a great resource to locate good books....when you are not reading my blog, of course...

1. Salvage the Bones by Jesmyn Ward:
This was a freebie and available through the library website for Kindle downloads, so I downloaded it. What an incredible find!
A beautifully written story involving a poverty stricken family living on the Mississippi coast spoken from the point of view of the 14 year old girl in the family after the loss their mother. The elements of the story make it compelling..it is just a few days before Hurricane Katrina is about the hit the coast, but the story is about everyday life..pit bull fighting, teen pregnancy,limited food funds, and living without their mother.
The author's prose is detailed, eloquent,colorful, and at times, somewhat disturbing, but these qualities transforms you to their world.
The author won a National Book Award for this..and I understand why.

2.The Dinner by Herman Koch
have you read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn? If you haven't, IT IS A MUST BEACH READ! This title is has the same flavor..full of disfunctional people with many issues. The story takes place at a dinner one evening and as it goes on, more insanity is revealed. it is my kind of book..love to read about characters that are on the edge of evil and insanity.

3.Still Missing by Chevy Stevens
Here another genre I enjoy: abductions.
The book blurb spells it out: a young realtor abducted from an open house, held captive by a psychopath for over a year, her journey of recovery. Partly told as sessions with her shrink, how she dealt with the trauma of her captivity hooked me more than the actual abduction story. Escaping was one thing, getting her life back another. “Maybe I should put up my own flyers: Still Missing”
She was her first novel and she has a new one coming out shortly called "Always Watching".

4. Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman.
Out book club just read this and was well liked by most of the group. It is a story of a young couple (Tom and Isabel) who tend a lighthouse 100 miles off the coast of Australia on the island of Janus Rock. One afternoon, 3 weeks after Isabel's 3 miscarriage, a boat washes up to shore with a dead man and his very much alive baby of 2 months. And of course, Isabel sees this as a gift from God..bringing her a baby, which they keep and pass off as their own. As you can guess, it can't end well.

5. Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight.
I read reviews of this and am currently reading and can't put it down. Amelia is a 15 year old attending a private boarding school and her mother, a lawyer in Manhattan, receives a call that she has been suspended and she has to come immediately and pick her up. In the time it takes her to get to the school, Amelia (model student, well liked, field hockey player..actually a lot like Maddie) has allegedly jumped off a roof and killed herself. Or did she?
The story centers around her mother reconstructing her daughter's life through the only means she has...email, text messaging, and social media, to find out what really happened.

6.Ma, he Sold me for a few Cigarettes by Martha Long.
After my great visit to Dublin, I have been looking for a good memoir to read-and this one looks like it will fit the bill. Reviews have been stellar:
Born a bastard to a teenage mother in the slums of 1950s Dublin, Martha has to be a fighter from the very start.
As her mother moves from man to man, and more children follow, they live hand-to-mouth in squalid, freezing tenements, clothed in rags and forced to beg for food. But just when it seems things can't get any worse, her mother meets Jackser.
Despite her trials, Martha is a child with an irrepressible spirit and a wit beyond her years. She tells the story of her early life without an ounce of self-pity and manages to recreate a lost era in which the shadow of the Catholic Church loomed large and if you didn't work, you didn't eat.
Martha never stops believing she is worth more than the hand she has been dealt, and her remarkable voice will remain with you long after you've finished the last line.

7. Under the Dome by Stephen King
All I can say is that I am sucked into the TV series and now MUST read the book. Will I fit it into the summer? Not likely...it is 1150 pages. Jesus Stephen..can't you break it into a trilogy???

Happy Reading!!!!

July 1!

How can it be July 1 already?? The good news is that it is the height of fresh veggies and fruits. The down side is summer is moving too quickly. But closer to football season..such a ying/yang-
I went swimming at the Big Vanilla pool this morning and had some major flashbacks growing up in Bay Ridge in Annapolis. That was during the time where you could rent a 4 bedroom house on the bay for 150.00 a month. Granted, it was a bit primitive-no A/C, questionable septic system, but who cared-we lived at the beach and the Bay Ridge pool.
Which brought me to my memories. Being a family of 6 and living on limited funds-life involved what was free or low cost. The Bay Ridge pool was about a 1/2 mile walk from our house (barefoot of course) and required pool passes. There was always two major obstacles to overcome when we spent sun up to sun down at the pool-getting in for free was one of them. We scoped out holes in the fencing first-that was successful alot of the time. Somehow we managed to get all 4 of us in without ever purchasing that expensive pool pass.
The other obstacle was eating when we spent our entire day there. We never packed food (PB and J might have been the only choice) so after a 12 hours day at the pool, hunger sets in. We would make the rounds with the pin ball machines for change. Then we would scope out the bottom of the pool for loose change. Then we would move on to begging the lifeguards, who knew all of us by our first names. I lived on a fritoes and snowballs, and occasionally a hamburger if I was superlucky.
It was a coming of age time for me...preteen. I had my first shirley temple at the cabana bar with my parents listening to Sugar, Sugar by the Archies. I watched the men walk on the moon on the club house television. I jumped off the high dive-first and only time. I excelled at pin ball machines. And who knows how I found the money for that.
Good times...my brothers probably spent more time sitting on the edge of the pool that actually swimming-thanks to rowdy behavior. Never seemed to faze them. What a great place to grow up.

Musings of OBX

Well, it is our last day at the beach.here are a few shared moments:

Lucy found her favorite spot, which required a Marley leap each time she found the pool. I saw that she was a bit bored with the whole thing towards the end of the week. Do I really have to jump in again and get that damn tennis ball?

Maddie and i had our first golf game. Now, we did make sure we went late in the day to a course that was the least intimidating. Most of the courses down here require the proper attire, shoes, and pace of play. The one we did find was sandals, shorts, and go have fun. Started out rocky..had to figure out how to drive the golf cart (yeah I know...doesn't require a rocket scientist). Then we forgot the golf tees after we arrived at the first hole. We had to go back to the car, but maddie forgot to lock in her golf clubs and they spilled all over the golf course. okay, aside from all that, we finally got started and probably only lost about 10 balls in water and woods.

Girls did alot of kayaking..did a guided tour today which was very enjoyable.

Off to visit Duck.

There's a nice house for sale down here for 244K..anyone want to buy it with me?

ahhh...supermoons and humidity

Things haven't changed much since i was last down here. Although I haven't ventured far from our location. We are staying in Southern Shores for the first time, which is a hidden gem. I always thought most of this area consisted of beach shacks along the main highway. i had no idea that there was a beautiful community lined with tall trees, large homes, and a very easy walk to the beach.
We saw monsters University last evening. it was delightful, but lets just say it sheds new light on librarians.
Vacationing with teens is an interesting experience. i have nothing more to add..you all know what I am talking about.
Tonight is the arrival of the supermoon. Maddie and CeCe hope to kayak out there tonight to see it from the sound side, if the weather holds up.
Andrew has been held responsible for the chicken sitting this week. i am hoping none run away or find themselves in the clutches of a fox. We need homes for the little ones...please volunteer to take these off our hands..especially the roosters.
Off to the beach before the storms.

a PS

I now have 3 followers. One a mystery person. I am quite surprized. After 2 years of blogging, I have 3 followers!!! And I got an invite to follow someone. An evangelical. Perhaps I need to be saved?

outer banks bound

We are packing up the youngest child, the kayaks, and the dog and headed to one of my favorite spots for vacation-the Outer banks. We have a long history with this beautiful piece of land..dating back when we were wee little children. Or perhaps my mother remembered us as the bane of her existence. In any case, every summer our large loud family would pack up our 1968 VW bug with my mother, my father, my brother Chris, my twin brothers Nick and Tim, and whatever cat we had in our possession at the time. And occasionally the labrador retriever. When she was not birthing puppies(I can think of one instance where we were vacationing and our Dog was home delivering a litter of 11. Nothing got in the way of vacation-especially for my mother). So, out little black bug would carry us all to the southern regions of the banks..Avon, Buxton, Hatteras, and sometimes Ocracoke Island. We often referred to our travelling means as the circus car. We had piles of luggage in the front trunk and perhaps the top of the car and as we pulled into a gas station for gas, there was a never ending stream of people, dogs, and cats who got out to pee or run around in circles to stretch their legs. My brother and I sat in the back seat; the twin boys in the well of the car, which was no more than a small space behind the back seat that no normal size human could fit in. I have a very distinct memory of my little brother's heads only visible behind me, with little space for squirming. And god knows where the cat was... Much less the dog.
We were cramped, but who cared. We were headed to the beach. Sand, sunshine,sand castles, bodysurfing, black flies, riptides. It was all good. We learned about Blackbeard (his ship sank not far from Okracoke Island), lighthouses, fishing, and ferry boats. We learned the cemeteries on Okracoke had burial mounds, not flat grave sites. Which was very creepy at night. And my father learned not to have a child with an ear infection when you vacation on an island only accessible by a ferry boat.
Tradition continues. When our kids were younger, we introduced pirate treasures, where we would hide a treasure map in our beach house (often near the house bar where we spent alot of time. They always looked amazed when they found the map. Unless it was for our own amusement and they knew we were the actual pirates.
We also shared our homes with the Corolla horses, who run free at the northern beaches. Beautiful animals and often i would come down the steps to the car port only to be greeted by a giant horse's ass.
Times have changed..only one child is going with a friend. And I am bringing golf clubs. And a library collection of books. Never could get away with that when they were little. Here's to a marguarita and Stephen King's novel..Under the Dome. Which is 1100 pages long. Who am I kidding????

vacation is looming

Vacation is coming..and it can't arrive soon enough. I know its time for me to get away when little things pissed the hell out of me.
I popped into a UPS store to drop a package off..it was labelled-I simply needed to hand it to a human. No parking spaces available, so I dared to break the law and park in one of the 3 handicapped spaces in front of the store (or I should say physically challenged). As I wait for a store employee, a woman walks in-dressed in what I can only describe as tennis chic, and says to me: "Excuse me, do you know you are parked in a handicapped space???" I reply "Yes. I do know that. I am feeling a bit handicapped today." "Well." she says, "Thats just not right". And I reply, "that's ok. I plan to pray to God for his forgiveness." She shut up. Normally I would not be bothered by this, but I was in no mood to have the moral police give me shit for parking where the hell I wanted to park. For 2 minutes.
I just finished an all day retreat on styrategic planning and a 3 hour session on communication-trying to improve communication between HDQ and branches. End result-after 3 hours and futile attempts to address real life concerns (facilitator refused to veer off of her scripted Power Point) the end result was the problem, according to some staff at HDQ, lied with the receiver of the message, not the messenger. And as someone else piped up-"i see no reason why our department heads need to explain everything to the lowest denominator". Hmmmm.... Ironically, after that brutal exchange, a group of us decided on getting an adult beverage. Only half showed up..they didn't get the message.
So, 3 more days of summer reading sign ups and our illustrious patron asking if he could please wear spandex shorts to the library with his mesh shirt. We said no. So, he is wearing his bathing suit. And a florescent orange safety vest. Sooooo much better.

summer musings

Nick has flown off to Florida to start a new life at the age of 49. We had a going away party for him at a beautiful location on the bay, where some of his closest high school friends came to bid him farewell. It was a pot luck. So my question is, when do we grow sophisticated enough to bring something other than a 5.00 box of cookies or a bag of potato chips? I think my goat cheese, greens, and strawberry salad might have been a little pretentious. I love Nick's friends for the most part. Except for the ones I can'r understand, like Mike who shows up in a smoking jacket and talks about his new invention involving shoe laces (and in fact the same conversation I had 2 years ago). But it was a wonderful day. Last I heard, he arrived safely at his girlfriends house, promptly broke a glass, left the toilet seat up in the middle of the night, and fell asleep on the sofa snoring loudly. I am sure this is all endearing. Now. To be continued...

And just an addedum to my last post...our illustrious patron who wanted to wear a mesh shirt was asking for advice on spandex biking shorts. God help us.

Tomorrow the county council makes a decision on the budget. And if it goes through as planned, we will be open 20 more hours a week. A good thing yet daunting.

Baseball. And what a great season so far.

another library visit...

Patron possibly shot with BB gun

At 0930 hrs patron Gary came to the information desk and reported that he'd been shot in the back of the head with a BB gun that stung him and might have done real damage had it hit his front (eye etc...) There were 2 causasion boys in a light blue car, possibly a late model mustang. The passenger with red hair, the driver with dark. I called 911 and he spoke with the operator, Officer Robinson arrived shortly after and took the report.

Woman fell multiple times outside of building


Sam informed me at about 3:30 pm that a patron informed Karen at Circulation that a woman had fallen a couple times outside of the branch. Sam asked that I accompany her outside to speak with the woman. Two men and one woman were talking to her and one of the men was holding her up. We approached and Sam asked her if she was ok. She didn't say anything. The man supporting her was asking her if she has someone to pick her up, and said she can't keep walking around because she could get injured. We asked her if she had a number for a family member or friend we could call to pick her up. She couldn't form any coherent sentences. Sam and I decided we should call the police, so I went in to call. They sent the fire dept., an ambulance and a police officer. I went back outside and the woman was sitting on a bench with Sam. We continued to ask her if she wanted us to call anyone. She started talking about her daughter but did not complete her thought and we couldn't get a number or name. The fire dept arrived first and she seemed uncomfortable with us having called them. Kept saying, "Seriously?" We walked away to give them space but remained outside just in case they needed to talk to us. We saw them look through her bag, examine her hands, and continue asking questions. The EMTs and police officer did the same. One of the firemen walked over to tell us she had had too much to drink and the police officer was going to take care of it.

Please people..no drinking and walking....

Overheard in our library.....

Him -"Can I wear a mesh shirt to the library? I want to feel air conditioned when I am walking?"
Me-"Not if it is see through"
Him-"why? Because you could see my skin"
Me-"yes"
Him- "Do you think that would be unsightly?"

This is the same person who asked for advice on purchasing leather pants over the winter.

Kismet

As we bask in the glow of Irish heritage, Guinness, Bailey's, and leprechauns, I was reminded of Andrew's dream of herding sheep and perhaps experiencing Ireland on other forms of greatness, as James Joyce once did. Ne'er you mind writing and sheep herding is the avenue to monetary richness, but perhaps Andrew and my mother's recent experience reflects something even more.
Andrew visits his grandmother for some TLC, a good meal, and in the case of last Thursday, the dire need for new shoes. Ad grandma's do, she gathered him up and headed to Fells Point, where they visited a tennis shoe store of grand proportions. It was the perfect place to go-shoes range from 20-100 and they were looking in the low end range. They were greeted by a very pleasant woman behind the counter, who was more than happy to help them find the perfect pair for 30.00. As she stepped around the counter, she seemed to have disappeared. As she reappeared on the other side, it was obvious she was a little person and in fact someone both Andrew and my mother sort of recognized(I suppose ayou would remember a little person). She took them to the discount area and there among the blue, white, athletic and canvas shoes you see every day was bright white tennis shoes with 100 dollar bills all over them.
It was the unusual that attracted Andrew. It was also, as they walked out of the store and realized it was Charla from the Amazing Race (she appeared in 2 seasons) that this was kismet. That they were meant to find shoes with dollar bills on them from a woman as small as a leprechaun who travelled the world.
Here's to sheep herding and writing the great American novel in Dublin.

Return to the living

It has taken a week to readjust to the time change and the chaos at work. I thought returning would have been easier, as you gain 5 hours. I forgot you wake up at 3 AM and your mind and body think its 8 AM.
Our last day in jolly ol' England was a trip to Bath, Stonehenge, and Windsor Castle. First, let me say that I grow very weary with the folks who take tours and then proceed to talk loudlt as the tour guide is sharing information on the bus. I have to commend our tour guide-she clamped it down as soon as she heard them chatting. They are also the ones who brought hot food on the bus (and was asked not to) and was late returning to the bus. We should of left them behind.
Also, tour company needs to adjust the tours a bit. We barely had time for Windsor and Bath. I would prefer just to skip Stonehenge, which i have seen before. And next trip spend alot more time in Bath.
After the debacle of transportation leaving Dublin, I wasn't about to try and change the times of leaving London for Heathrow. They were scheduled to arrive 4 hours before our flight, which was around 1 PM. Just enough time to make a quick walk to Buckingham Palace and see the changing of the guards. Which is always an adventure with my brother, who only concern watching the statuesque guards who never move what they do if there balls itch. Inquiring minds need to know.
Our transportation arrived at 10 15 for a 5 PM flight. We sent them away after much discussion. I suppose better early than late.

london continued

Yesterday was beautiful. For about 2 hours. I went on a trip to oxford, stratford upon Avon, and Warwick castle. Oxford was charming and a step into old education. Christ church (the most well known Oxford university) has 400 students attending a school that dates back to the 1500's. Its like a step back in time. The highlight was the dining hall, which was used as the model for Harry potters Donny hall. And we climbed the steps Harry did in the first movie to meet prof. Mcgonagal.
We headed over to stratford upon Avon, home of shakepeare. We paid a visit to his childhood home, where heat was provided by fires and little ventilation. Child mortality was was quite high-maybe cause kids slept on trundleswhere the smoke was the thickest and they suffocated. Cant deny his brilliance tho. We had actors doing short passages from his plays on the garden of his home. Quite amazing.
final stop was Warwick castle. Lots of history and monarches past thru those doors, but truly what struck me was the amount of bed hopping that went on there. Daisy the Countess of the castle had her revolving door of men as her husband gave her free reign (no pun intended) she even had an illegitimate child. Isn't English history the best?

Today we went to hampden court. It was all about crazy Henry the Viii, who by the way, was walking the halls yelling at Ann boleyln. Oh and Charles II was his own exhibit. He had a mistress who he had move on with his wife as she had his illegitimate child. And Ann was accused of giving birth to a changeling (she supposedly smuggled the baby in during the birth in a bed warmer) sure sounds like a page from a current London rag.
final big highlight was a visit to abbey road with Tim. Yep, we took pics crossing the road. What a moment.
onto Stonehenge, bath, and Windsor castle. Been a phenomenal trip.

a lost day

Yesterday was our last day in Dublin. And I am having a hard time remembering what we did. Wait a sec...its coming back to me. We headed to the country after a delicious continental breakfast of Irish cheeses and meats (Irish cheese is the best), yoghurt.Irish browtime ton bread, nuts and fruits. And very strong coffee. Our first stop was Dun laoghaire on the coast. It was another cold, damp Irish morning that chills you to the bones. We visited a place on the sea called forty foot where hearty Irish women and men swim all year around. And indeed, a man was just climbing out of the 30 degree water the color of a cooked lob

ster. Tim commented to our 80 year old guide that people must be on crack. She agreed there was a drug problem in the villages. Think she missed the point.
we headed over to another small village glenlachue. It was the home of some of the oldest monasteries in Ireland..backstops the 8th and 9th century. And still standing. Had lunch in the only hotel there and had great root vegetable soup.
We returned and met Grainyga for dinnner, our long lost cousin who is a bit younger than Tim. We began with Irish coffers wdhere they whip the cream for each individual drink by shaking the cream in n empty beer bottle. We made fast friends with the Czech bartender until he told him to give everyone in the bar an Irish coffee.
Dinner was lamb of course. Followed bysome procseco. And then off to see one of the smallest bars in Dublin (seats 15) and then Irish music. I have to admit I had this romantic idea that most bars had crusty old Irishmen hanging out, drinking Guinness, and singing ballads. Not so. But we found music where mom sang and we drank. Tim ended up behind the bar with the Irish lads pouring Guinness. We did mini Guinness shots with a group of coca cola guys, which was really ba iley's and tia Maria. It was a late night.
Up at 4 am. Tim and mom overslept so departure was ugly. But we made it and the highlight of today was tea at the hotel. Over the top.
I need to sign off.

bog crypts and lagar

As we all retired last evening in a quasi coma, our plan today was to meet for breakfast at 8 am and Ann our new relative would meet us at 9 for touring. I will even mention our dear mother thought she would fit in a walk before breakfast. I arrive at breakfast at 8 and no signs of the rest of the clan. I wait 5, 10, 15,20 minutes...no sign. I head upstairs and bang on the door. No answer. I call the room. No answer. I would be worried but the paper was outside the room. Finally after 5 minutes of banging mom answers the door~hair askew and ear plugs in. I inform her its 8 30. She asks 'in the morning?' So much for a walk before breakfast. Jet lag rears its ugly hat.
we did a museum tour in the am~which we had the chance to see ancient (2000 Bc)human remains that were found Ianthe bogs of Ireland. Mud does wonders for preservation. Mud masks from now on. We visited Trinity college to see the book of Kells. Really most impressive was the library. Massive. 200k books. There was a group of women up at the top section vacuuming the books. It takes a year to go threw the entire collection. Then they start all over. Never a sense of accomplishment.
then off to Guinness storehouse, and the kilmainham geol. Old jail of Dublin with many hangings and history.
we need more time here. We missed the Jameson's whiskey tour. Searching for music tomorrow. Priorities.

pubs galore

I fit right in here. The city is beautiful and easy to walk. Good thing cause is not a great idea to drive Its not only the issue of driving on the left but drivers are nuts. I have to say, costco does travel right. The driver was waiting for us when we arrived in Dublin. However, the name on the sign was Shipton(my middle name). So unusual it had to be our ride.
The hotel is top notch. The location is walking distance to Trinity college. And what a melting pot. I've heard languages from all over the world. The Irish are a friendly group. Maybe because they consume copious amounts of Guinness.
our long lost Irish cousin twice removed from the third moon (not clear how we are related but will know tomorrow) is coming to pick us up for some sightseeing. Looks like we might see some Irish countryside afterall. Cold as hell but who cares.
Yep, my kind of city.

let the sdventures begin

We are awaiting our flight~due to take off in an hour. Never mind we arrived 3 hours esrly but we find ways to entertain ourselves. Which involves sitting st a wine bar and people watching. There is a large contiguency of servicemen on our flight heading to Afghanistan. We wished them godspeed.
As we wrapped up our 10 dollar glass of wine…in strolls a gentleman in a very blinged out sparkle shirt; earrings; beret; cocktail lounging pants; high heels; long grey beard/; and long grey hair kn a ponytail. I am a bit perplexed. Man wanting to be woman? Woman wanting to be mam? Wanting to be both? Or just doesn't give a shit about high fashion? With my luck he will be my seat mate.
we are boarding soon. I understand they r serving a hot dinner with wine. I also suspect to see packages of sleep masks; socks; blankets all waiting for us in our seats I love the Brits.

warm weather?

It's April. Almost the middle of April. And I am still in my winter coat. I walked last night, with gloves, hats, sweaters, and coats. That's the last time I listen to Punxsutawney Phil. I hear it might in the 60's by next week. It's in the 30's in Dublin and London. Great.
In the anticipation of warm weather, we just purchased kayaks. Now, I would love to sit here and say I am a connoisseur of kayaking, but I would be lying. Not that I haven't lied before. However, I have had limited experience any small boat, other than a sunfish sailboat as a pre-teen. That was light enough to carry to the beach myself, plop the centerboard in, pull the sail up and head to the shipping channels in the bay. And avoid being run over.
Maddie and I rented a canoe while in Sanibel Island. The boat had 2 seats -black; that had cooked in the hot sun for quite a while before we arrive. I am surprized we didn't get 3 degree burns. We went searching for manatees. We found none. It was hot, steamy, and some of the waterways narrow with thick brush and trees, which we got caught up in. We couldn't wait to get back. And when we pulled in, the beach was an incline, which meant my big ass could not get out of the boat. The young, very cute boating guy had to pulled my out-no easy feat.
So, I have a bit of trepidation when it comes to kayaking. Especially before the water warms up in case I flip the boat. And then there is the issue of getting out. Stay tuned.

Top 10 list

Oh my god..14 people viewed my blog today! That might be a record. I need to step it up.

Top Ten reasons to Head to London and Dublin(which is happening in 10 short days):

10. We get to fly British Airlines. Where hot meals, sleep masks, footies, hot meals, and wine are all free. And they all have British accents.

9. Spending quality time with my mother and brother. I think it will all be okay, as long as those pints of beer flow freely.

8. Weather will be nice. Well, maybe not. Who cares? We have Irish Whiskey and beer.

7. A chance to meet long lost relatives in Dublin. Who are 3 times removed cousins on my mother's side. i think. I don't care. We will have a pint of beer.

6. We get to visit the Queen. None too soon..National Enquirer reported she is going to die.

5. Castles, the Beatles, and James Bond.

4. Seeing some of the English countryside. i will be doing that tour solo. it's all okay, there will be pints of beer.

3. No driving. Thanks god, cause after all this beer and whiskey, i doubt I would remember what side of the road i will be on.

2. Great hotels..we stepped it up to a 4 star.

1. Pubs. Beer. Irish Coffees.

1.

chicken stories

I mentioned in an earlier blog that Alan has entered the world of raising chickens. I thought an update was in order, since I have seen signs of a serious mid life chicken crisis.
We have been very happy with the 4 ladies we house..Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda. They have been doing their job..we see 4 eggs a day most days. They aren't too loud. They are friendly. They chirp when they hear you coming and wait at the fence when you enter their chicken palace. Really, this is a palace compared to where they might be living on an eastern shore poultry farm. Alan has just build an addition onto their home..a small run area with a special little chicken door. Netted over so hawks can't help themselves to dinner.
So, just as we settled in to our small flock, he disappears one afternoon and returns with 3 more chickens. Almost doubling our population. Now, we don't live on acres of land. I made my protests-he assured me he was planning on giving them to another chicken farmer. Well, all but one. Immediately, the new chickens upset the pecking order. We had some bullies among the 'can't we all get along" ones. Chickens all want to have a boss and they fight for the position. It's not all what it cracks up to be, believe me.
I was releived to hear some of the new chickens were finding new homes until our dinner conversation came back to his favorite subject and I happen to hear the last few words of "raising chicks". What?! Wait a sec...NO ROOSTER. They are noisy, pushy, and most of the time cranky. Well, Alan says, you don't need a rooster. (Just as I get a handle on chicken knowledge, I am thrown another loop). You simply visit a chicken farm that has FERTILIZED eggs, and a brooding chicken will sit on them and hatch them. Kinda like a surrogate chicken scenario. Okay, give up. But please, no chicken killing for Sunday night dinners. I draw the line.

library news

It has been a slow time for library news. I know alot of you look at my blog just for those crazy stories...sorry to disappoint. Where are the crazies? I know our Brookln Park branch has been challenged with threats with AK-47's and patrons smearing blood on the doors-weird and scary, not so funny.

However, I did see this recent incident..

Two young men around the ages 13-14 came into the library with a whoopie cushion. They were upstairs first apparently sneaking up behind people and making loud noises with it. Jenny approached them and told them their behavior was inappropriate and needed to stop. They then left the upstairs area and came downstairs where they proceeded making excessive noises with it which were very disrupting to patrons. I too gave them a warning and told them if they didn't stop they would be asked to leave. They continued the behavior and I told them they were now out for the day. They acted surprised and back-talked a little (nothing too excessive) and then left. I did hear them say this was the 3rd place they'd been kicked out of today. Obviously this was not surprising.


And I did hear this story...which begs many questions:

Our maintenance department was called to our North County library recently because of clogged toilet. This is a fairly common occurance in many our libraries, since most folks can't seem to figure out what they should not flush down the toilet. After a fairly long time of using various plumbing tools, it was unclogged.

For 12 hours. Again, they are called after only being accessible to the public for 2 hours. This time they were not successful as the night before and had to call in reinforcements. County plumbers showed up on sight and brought cameras to put down the drain to see what the problem was. Imagine their surprize when they discovered it was a very large albino boa constrictor. Dead at this point.

So, any thought on how it got in the library drain pipe? And lets not even entertain the thought of using the bathroom knowing that was down there...

And finally, apparently only rich people like quiet....

Around 10:40 I heard loud music coming from the back of the the public area. Shortly after that, the patron at PC #27, Mr. Shaffer began to laugh uproariously. He continued laughing and the patrons all began staring at him. I went over and asked him to lower his voice and turn down his music. I informed him that we could hear his music across the room and that his laughing was disturbing other people. He reacted in a hostile manner, telling me that he was using a PC in the back so no one would be bothered and that he didn't have this trouble at the library in Glen Burnie.

I went back to the information desk and Mr. Shaffer logged off the computer and approached the desk to state again that he is allowed to be loud as he wanted in the Glen Burnie library and that he was on his way back there. He left the building then came back a few minutes later to lean on the counter agressively. He asked me defiantly "What is the difference between this library and the Glen Burnie library?" I said we are all part of the same library system. He explained his belief that we only ask people to be quiet in Annapolis because "rich people go to this library." I reiterated that if he wanted to use the library, he would have to be quiet. He said again that he was returning to Glen Burnie. Our guard was standing by during this confrontation and observed that after Mr. Shaffer left the building a second time he went to the bus stop and got on the bus.

Laura told me that a staff member had asked Mr. Shaffer to be quiet a few days ago and had also gotten a defiant response.

Mr. Shaffer is a tall middle aged white man with a large belly, and buzz cut hair.