Library customer

I am sitting at the information desk on this beautiful and quiet afternoon and in walks our regular 'politician'. He is a youngish guy, in his 30's perhaps, always carrying a manila envelope, his cigarettes, his cell phone, and his coffee cup. Here is what transpired:

"Hey sweetheart. I need some help with a few things. i am at a disadvantage. I really appreciate your help.'

"ok..what can I help you with?" (meanwhile, the red flags are flapping in the wind)

"Okay, so I need information on record companies in maryland..you know..the ones who have labels. I am going to record my CD soon, which will have 30 songs on it."

"Okay..here you are."

"now I need information on the Independence party. I am changing from a Republican party to Independence and need a contact person to ask some questions about the party. I am running for governor."

Me-"You mean the Independent party?"

"Yes, yes....that..anything u have at all..." And I also need Hugh Hefner's office number in California. I was going to buy Playboy magazine but things got in my way. He has to have a secretary I can talk to."

"All righty...anything else?"

"I need information on balligomiss."

Me-"Not sure what you are asking for."

"you know, the men who have lots of wives".

"AH-polygamists."

"Yeah, thats it. Where do they live in maryland? And where else do they live? I appreciate your help by the way. I am at a disadvantage because I have no car and there's no transportation down here and my 6 businesses were shut down."

me-"They live in Utah from what I understand."

"Really??? Are you sure about that?"

me"well, pretty sure-thats where the Mormon church is and it a splinter group of the Mormon church'"

"well, if they live in Utah, they live in Maryland as well."

"Not too sure about that."

"thanks so much for your help sweetheart. Hey, do you have a meeting room????"

be afraid......be very afraid.....