and in library news...

I just did a quick check of what was going on in our libraries this week and I have to say the titles were more intriguing than the actual stories....

NCO GORILLA INCIDENT

At approximately 4:45 PM Page David reported to Susie that he saw a young woman stuffing our Gorilla puppet into her satchel. At that time, she was using public computer #1 in the Adult area. When she became aware that David had witnessed this action, he politely said to her something like, “Hi, I noticed that you were putting our puppet in your bag . . .” at which she pulled the gorilla out of her bag and gave it to him without speaking.



This incident occurred near the end of David’s shift, but he mentioned that, much earlier, at the beginning of that shift, which began at 1:00 PM, he had noticed the gorilla on the floor next to the belongings of that same patron who was with a young boy, presumably her son, in the children’s area. (These puppets/stuffed animals are usually displayed on high shelves in this area.) As mentioned above, it was much later that he saw the gorilla again when he was working on the opposite end of the library near PC#1. At that time he noticed the gorilla on the floor next to the patron’s satchel before she placed it in her bag.

Suspicious person wrapped in foil sleeping on branch property

· Gi arrived at 8:10am.

· She noticed a “foil” (what the bag looks like is a space blanket sleeping bag) sleeping bag next to the Verizon hub/shed building.

· In the past on Monday mornings when Gi noticed the “foil” sleeping bag on our property it usually had a person sleeping in it, but closer to the shopping center parking lot. She has always reported this to Vernon & Michele.

· A strong smell of marijuana was in air and Gi decided before going into the building to call our non-emergency police number from her vehicle and ask for an Officer to check on sleeping person(s).

· As I was speaking to the dispatch our AA County Police community officer came into the parking lot and I spoke with him.

· Cpl. J.walked around the sleeping bag and then yelled to him to wake up and move on. Cpl. J. waited for him to sit up, put his shoes on, gather his items and he did leave going towards the parking lot.

· Cpl. J. shared with us (at this point my co-worker Anita was in the parking lot with us) the gentleman in the sleeping bag is an older African American male his name is James well known in the area & will leave property when told.

· Cpl. J. was glad we called and encouraged us to do so whenever we had that uncomfortable feeling.

Noisy children petition

During the 3 o'clock hour circ staff asked a patron to tell the information staff about a man who approached her to sign a petition requesting library staff to ask patrons with noisy children to leave the building. The patron found the petition topic offensive and was unhappy that the man approached her with his petition. The patron wanted staff to be aware of what the man was doing. By the time I returned from helping a patron the petitioner had left. Jean recognized the patron as one of our regulars but doesn't know his name. If he comes in again I will let this person know what the proper procedure is for circulating petitions.

Charles Escalates His Complaints About Children in the Library

Mr. B. uses the library almost daily. For the past year he has complained to the circ staff about children using the library. He has referred to the children in the building as "roaches," among other things. He has said that he hopes all the children and people under 50 years will go to the new branch so that he can continue to use this branch without them. Circ staff try to ignore his comments and not feed into it.

On 6/6/13 Lynn reported the following:

"When Mr. B came to the check-out desk today, he asked me, "Do you have a stick?" When I replied "My stick?", I believe he motioned to the J area, because it prompted me to tell him that he would get used to it, because with school out, there would be more children in the branch. His reply was that "crime rates would go up." I said "crime rates?" and he said "because of the hoodlums."



On 8/23/13 Marie overheard the following:

Mr. B. came to Lynn at checkout and began to complain about the limited selection of new titles. He was upset that of his 60 plus holds approximately 30 were position 0 so they were on order. He then began to complain about what he read in the Capital about the library system getting increased funds. His wording was that "we are getting 800 zillion dollars in new funding and the main dweeb said it was all going to children's programming." Lynn talked with him for quite a while, explaining the library system's new initiatives and trying to direct any further questions/complaints to the Area Supervisor or Library Headquarters.



On 8/26/13 Carol had the following interaction with Mr. B:

Mr. B said "Did you hear that sound this morning?" Carol said "No, what?" Mr. B said "It is the sound of the crime rate going down because the kids are back in school."

marcia

I am spending a beautiful evening on my deck drinking wine and enjoying 80 degree low humidity weather in August. Marcia, my dearest friend forever-or, as some call them..my BFF, has come for a long overdue visit. And even though her distance is only an hour, her life is always been a state of flux. Which is what I love about her. Alan asked me why we hadn't seen her all summer and the answer required a dissertation.
She is spontaneous and driven by her heart not always her head. She has a beautiful daughter named Athena who is fathered by a handsome hispanic she worked with in a restaurant in her early 30's. They made a run at a relationship and lived together for 2 weeks. Best thing to come out of that short lived relationship was Athena. her other realtionships were results of online dating. peter lasted less than a year. Fred was 6 years until he died of a tragic motorcycle accident.
She is athereal, cosmic, and spiritual. She teached yoga to seniors, is a massage therapist, and throws in healing touch anytime she has the opportunity. She is silly, positive, and moves with the wind.
Having a visit with her is like a shot of happiness. How lucky we all are to have people like this on our lives.

Goat Drama

I live in a typical suburban neighborhood, fairly conservative with a population that boats, drives pick ups, and vote Republican. I'd say we might be a bit of the exception-little more liberal with our viewpoints, yet Alan comes from a farming background so we have introduced some of those concepts in the neighborhood. Alan's garden is the talk of the neighborhood and certainly when we acquired chickens, that was the new topic of chatter. Since the arrival of the chickens nearly a year ago, our neighbors are catching the fever. One neighbor has also acquired chickens with a very posh chicken Taj Mahal. Their next door neighbor is in the process of building a coop as well and will be adopting some of the chicks we just hatched last month. This is the second batch-not as successful as the first (and not as much of a novelty)-he started out with 9 and one fell into the water bowl and drowned and the other simply got sick and died. Ah well..these are the hardships of owning poultry where their brains are the size of a pea.
So, our other neighbor who doe not own chickens, made a bold move to own goats. he has alot of grasses along the water edge he would like to have the goats eat. I am not one to argue the fine points of goat ownership since my understanding in what I see on a petting farm, but we are on a roll here in the 'dena. Farm animals rule.
Okay, Dave the goat owner has a very nice little fenced pen for Cocoa and Cream (the pygmy goats). However, within 24 hours, someone reported him and the animal control told him he needed to build them a nice shelter, with a roof and such. Shag carpeting? Big screen TV? Maybe some air conditioning? So, he is working on that. In the meantime, goats like to eat hay when it is above their heads (not on the ground). I really don't know why, but it is what they do. Dave went to a feed store and purchased a hay container which hung above the heads of the goats. This is the upsetting part of my story so fair warning..apparently Cream got her horns caught in the hay container and well, met the goat gods in heaven. Very sad for the family in the short time they knew her and apparently very distressful for Cocoa, Cream's life partner. The poor thing was visibly shaken (although I am not sure how you can tell). Dave, being the animal lover he was, made a decision to get another goat that evening to help Coca get over her loss.
Dave comes home with another goat..this one is a lactating goat. This makes Alan very happy..he is a big fan of goat's milk. The following morning Bill, who was up at 6 AM, here's a goat in distress.huge bleeping noises and goat yelling. He looks out his window and there is Cocoa screeching down Diana Drive. Being the good neighbor that he is, he goes after it. Cocoa has run away from home and ran to the chicken owners house for salvation. Dave is alerted-they go over to get Cocoa..she is gone again. Now there is a goat search party that has been formed. They combed neighbor's yards calling for Cocoa...which brings me to this point. How does one call for a goat? Bill asked neighbors if they had seen a goat...which was met with great confusion and many questions.
After a solid hour of searching Cocoa was found in Ken and Pat's yard (where she had been all along) next to the chickens under a table.
From what I can gather once she was returned, there is a battle going on with the new goat and Cocoa as to who was going to be the alpha. An argument ensued and Cocoa left home, apparently she lost the battle.
Meanwhile, Alan has been reporting to Dave's on a regular basis to milk the goat. God help us all....

from the pages of other libraries....

Annoying old guy: Hey, guess what, my last two wives were librarians. Want to see my scars?


Dragons
A customer shared the following fact with me just now: "Dragons are actually good. They are like uncles to all of us."


T-shirts
As I am rushing across the library with several things in my hands, a lady says "Excuse me, ma'am, can you help me over here?"
Her t-shirt is printed with: "Oh yes, let me just drop everything and deal with your problem."

Later: a GIANT man in a t-shirt that says FUCK! comes up to me at the children's desk and asks if we have "At the End of the Sidewalk" by Shel Silverstein.


Interesting person of the week
A guy was here the other day and very upset that we didn't have any books in stock on how to make holograms [I was impressed we even owned any at all] --"I'm an inventor! It's the government, they're censoring me, etc etc."

Today he came back wanting books on kelp (he's going to make a fuel out of it), and told me this:

"I saw the Beatles and they told me I'd be the one to invent this!"
Me: The Beatles told you?
Him: "Yes, I'm telepathic."

He also said he speaks to Bill Gates by telepathy, but he doesn't like to admit it because he's a "sinner" for having stolen the GUI from Steve Jobs. Fair point.


Woman @ the RFID checkout tells me that the screen says that she can't check out. I look at her account and tell her that she has $64 in fines. I tell her that the fines are for overdue materials.

Woman: What do you mean?
Me: It is x amount per day, and these books are more than a month late.
Woman: I didn't know there was a due date... that's why I checked out so many of these kids books.
Me: The due dates are on the receipt.
Woman: I threw away the receipt. I just thought we could take as many as we want and return them when we can. I never heard of a "due date." OMG, my husband is going to kill me!


SOME information
Lady: (looking at big "Information" sign above the desk) Information, huh? I need some information--how can I get two thousand and fifty dollars in three days?

Me: Uh...if I knew that, I wouldn't be working here!

Lady: (laughs) That was a good question, wasn't it!

Me: Sure was!

Lady: You should change that sign to say "Some Information, Not All".

Me: You're absolutely right.



The Straight Story
The List Guy can't find one of the books he has checked out and wants to pay for it.

Me: Why don't you wait a little while and see if you find it?

LG: No, I gave it to the witches' coven at Jack in the Box in exchange for a meal or they wouldn't let me come in there any more.

Me: Wow, I guess you'd better pay for it then.

LG: Actually my brother Dave took it for a hundred thousand dollars. But he's president now. He was elected. We both were. We're Big Dave and Big Steve. [LG's name isn't Steve]