chickens and binders of women

You ask...how random is this? Well, you are right. It just so happens to be the hot topics of the week.
Alan has had his dream come true of owning poultry again. Much to the dismay of most members of the family. Except for Andrew, who is all about anything alive and unusual. After all, it isn't everyday you find chickens living under your deck steps in suburbia. I held out for as long as I could..I had visions of them living in the basement, lots of cock a doodling, and general bird stupidity. Well, I was right on one count. They do not live in the basement, rather a large chicken palace under the deck steps protected by the elements, foxes, snakes, hawks...just about every predator known to man. To them it is a palace..they have a roosting perch (chickens really do just sit on a two inch piece of wood and....well, they poop, thats just about it), plenty of laying mash (what the hell is that you ask? It is corn mash food that encourages laying eggs. Does it have a magical drug in it?), and bits of oyster shell to snack on (yeah..I know...I asked as well. it helps with the creation of the egg shell. DO they have oyster shell for Idaho chickens?). When they are tired of perching (Alan was quite concerned they were not doing this, so he had to show them), they hop down, eat, poop, drink, eat, poop....u get the idea.
We have 2 hens, so no noise. Roosters are the noisy ones and very protective of their harem. And we don't need no stinkin roosters for eggs. IF THEY ever get around to laying some. No names have been assigned..Oprah Henfrey, Hennifer Anniston, Mother Clucker were discussed. I like Hensel and Gretel. Gretel has a crooked toe-perhaps a hinderance in her perching ability. Now the stupid part..well, lets just say we have had them for a week and I have yet to see an egg. Despite the fact that ALan put a lacrosse ball in the nest to be sure they knew what the nest was for.
Speaking of stupidity, we had another round of presidential debates and Romney shared a doozey. The question came up about equal pay for women and he responded with a long passage of wanting to hire more women for his cabinet in Mass. and was given a binderful of women to choose from. I might also add that the thing most women need, according to Mitt, is flex time, so they can get home to their families and cook dinner. AMazon reviews of binders were quite witty..after all, how fair is it if you order binders and no women were included?
So, as the chicken saga continues, I will keep all of you posted. I have to thank Alan for giving me material for my blog. And after hearing about my brother's dog Ellie bringing him live chickens from the next door neighbor as he was reading the paper in BED, Lucy is keeping her distance.