updates from our patrons

Well, we all are familiar with our illustrious sit down man. he walks to our building on a daily basis and spends more time here than we would prefer. He dresses in the latest basement fashion-smelly jeans with holes, a rain jacket that is more duck tape than jacket, and various ropes that are slung over his shoulder for his groceries that are carfully (not) packed in plastic bags. he ties them to his body for his walk home. But before he leaves, he has an array of questions he asks that pertain to the issue at hand. Recently, the questions were "Can you drink the water from your dehumidifier?" Well, I suppose you could if you really wanted to. "Well, how bout water from the pool?" Uh, no. "Toilet water?" Sure..go ahead and drink water from your toilet. Why are you asking? "Well, I no longer have plumbing and need a water source." This was verified by a neighbor who believes he is flinging waste into his yard. After all, it has to go SOMEWHERE.

Today has brought a few more of the regulars here. Our patron who lives about 1000 feet from the branch rides his motorcycle over to peruse the DVDs in his usual state of inebriation. His bright red hair defies gravity, coupled with a silver motorcycle jacket and today, a helmet. He is friendly. Way too friendly. He wants to talk. Apparently he drives his mother crazy as well and has been sent to live in the barn (he is easily in his 50's). So, mode of operation-don't make eye contact! Pretend he is not there. he stands in front of the information desk, staring in hopes you will look up so he can talk to you. No. Not gonna happen. He finds his victim at the circulation desk. Poor Rebecca-we give him 3 minutes and we do a rescue. he leaves, much to our relief, but returns with an enormous motorcycle helmet on. Complete with an 18 inch length of silver hair hanging out of the back of the helmet and down his back. No one dares to ask what that is. But he volunteers the information. "Do you like my tail?" "I cut it off a dead horse'" "People follow me down the road when they see my tail blowing in the wind."

I can't make this stuff up.