As I spent the afternoon memorializing someone who has been in my life for such a long time, I thought back to the things I will truly miss:
11. Her Crown Vic. Julie really didn't like to drive, but decided if she had to drive, it was going to be a big ass car so people stayed out of her way. And it was very roomy in the back seat to pull over on the highway after a night of partying to 'rest'. After her car was stolen, she went for a smaller, less obtrusive model.
10.Her vast collection of Chuck Taylors.
9.Her musical instruments. Which traveled with her where ever she went. And broke out after a few shots of whiskey. Tamborines, shakers, and thinga-ma-jigs that gave it some rhythm.
8. Road Trips. To the Derby. Enough said.
7. Her vast collection of music. From all walks of life. I learned so much in the music department from her.
6. Her quirky ethnic dinners. We would pick countries as our theme-Polish, Italian, etc. Julie did things the country of Saladia (only salads)and "10"-to celebrate my wedding anniversary. Everything had to refer to 10. 10 ingredients, tenderloin, 10 layers. It was her love of food- preparing it, eating it, sharing it.
5. Orioles baseball. We met regularly to watch games at Camden Yards and she never failed to bring her pom poms.
4. Her birthday cakes. She perfected them.
3. Her finger on the pulse. When I had my annual party every year, I would call her a couple of days ahead to find out who was coming. It was like having a social secretary.
2. her love of British literature and film. Okay, I might not miss that so much, but respected her love for it. And we both loved Downton Abbey.
1. Her humor. And her great love for life.
Go forth and be at peace. We all will miss you terribly.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
A week of thanks
The holidays are upon us..sort of sneaked in while we weren't looking. This week is by far my favorite holiday...Thanksgiving. it is all about eating, drinking, football, socializing, and eating. No pressures. A day of gluttony. In a good way. I have many memorable Thanksgivings over the years thanks to my foodie parents and their crazy friends and family. My mother loves this holiday and it shows in her massive preparation of every side dish and pie known to man.
In the days where she lived in Annapolis in a small yet adequate duplex, our dinners were big and boisterous. It required 2 kitchens, as 2 turkeys were prepared while the plethera of side dishes were prepared. Let's talk about side dishes for a second. She has always opted for tradition-things that were on her table from her grandmother. That would include celery salad (which sits in a beautiful turkey shaped bowl and remains untouched by anyone's hands), mashed rutabagas (oh yeah, these are popular. Not.), creamed caulifower and pearl onions (I am on the fence about this one..its just a big white food), and cranberry sorbet (not thats a great idea...cleanse the palate for more eating). Since she married my father, she had many thanksgiving dinners with pigs feet and sauerkraut. We have nixed the pigs feet and I am ever so grateful. We kept the Baltimore tradition of sauerkraut and updated it to red cabbage. In fact , some dishes have been updated-rutabagas are now winter puree with carrots and parsnips. We added dried corn and brussel sprouts. There is now some green foods on the table to enhance the orange, brown, and white.
So, 2 kitchens to cook for 18. Once the dinner was served, it was time for after dinner apertifs. Which at this particular dinner ended up being consumed under the dining room table. One year as we prepared for dinner, we searched for the roasting pan that belonged to my great grandmother. We found it. On the back porch. With the carcass of last years turkey still in it.
Ahhh...another year. Bring it on.
In the days where she lived in Annapolis in a small yet adequate duplex, our dinners were big and boisterous. It required 2 kitchens, as 2 turkeys were prepared while the plethera of side dishes were prepared. Let's talk about side dishes for a second. She has always opted for tradition-things that were on her table from her grandmother. That would include celery salad (which sits in a beautiful turkey shaped bowl and remains untouched by anyone's hands), mashed rutabagas (oh yeah, these are popular. Not.), creamed caulifower and pearl onions (I am on the fence about this one..its just a big white food), and cranberry sorbet (not thats a great idea...cleanse the palate for more eating). Since she married my father, she had many thanksgiving dinners with pigs feet and sauerkraut. We have nixed the pigs feet and I am ever so grateful. We kept the Baltimore tradition of sauerkraut and updated it to red cabbage. In fact , some dishes have been updated-rutabagas are now winter puree with carrots and parsnips. We added dried corn and brussel sprouts. There is now some green foods on the table to enhance the orange, brown, and white.
So, 2 kitchens to cook for 18. Once the dinner was served, it was time for after dinner apertifs. Which at this particular dinner ended up being consumed under the dining room table. One year as we prepared for dinner, we searched for the roasting pan that belonged to my great grandmother. We found it. On the back porch. With the carcass of last years turkey still in it.
Ahhh...another year. Bring it on.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
ALS update
I am going to take a moment out of my regular light-hearted posts to vent and share an emotionally charged day today. As all of you know, my dear friend Julie is suffering from ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) for the last 2 years. It has slowly robbed her of her ability to use her hands, lift a coffee cup, walk to the bathroom, eat, and now the ability to speak in a coherent manner. Soon, breathing will not be possible. I had my regular visit today and was greeted on the porch by Sally, her sister. She wanted me to be aware of the changes that have just occurred in the last 9 days since I have seen her.
Yep, 9 days ago, she had been eating some soft foods. Once she was on a roll with talking, I could understand 70 percent of what she wanted to share. Today, she is on morphine every 2 hours. She is not eating, but able to sip water and other liquids. She faded in and out when I was there. I understood nothing. Except a comment she made about not being able to share her jokes because people didn't understand her anymore (last time I was there she told me she was like Helen Keller..and her words were the same..water is now waaaaaaaaaa). I also understood I love you. She can move her head slightly. She can look right at you intensely in hopes you know what she is trying to say in her silence. And I did. She can cry. And we can share that as well. Hardest thing about this? Knowing behind her non ability to speak is Julie. Who I have known and loved for 35 plus years. Too bad I can't jump into her brain for a while and chat. Like old times.
I so miss her silliness. I miss her adeptness to find complicated situations and make a big joke out of it. I miss her playing the saxophone, even though she hasn't played for quite some time. Oh, how I miss dancing with her. Playing darts at the dart parties. Late nights in Baltimore where we would go home at 1 AM to get money to drink more, even though the bars closed in 20 minutes. I miss her musical instruments that always came with her to parties. I just miss her even though she is still here.
No one should have to suffer from something like this. It's inhumane, cruel, and miserable. Yet, as I left her this afternoon in tears, she simply looked at me and said "Waaaaaaaaaaa......" I left with laughter.
Julie died Sunday morning, November 17th quietly at her home. She had the great fortune in being able to live in her house til the end and be cared for by friends, family, and caretakers. Her friends came regularly to share shots of tequila and fabulous prepared food when she still capable of swallowing. She shared lots of laughter despite what she was facing and she was determined to focus on what was good and present, not what was coming. She made it to a baseball game where they arranged a skybox for us. There were regular girl's weekends, baseball watching, and making sure her cats got attention as Julie lost her ability to pet them. We love her sisters for making it possible to have Julie live and be where she most wanted to be-her home with her animals surrounded with all the people who loved her. Peace has arrived for her, which brings some comfort. Go ahead.
Yep, 9 days ago, she had been eating some soft foods. Once she was on a roll with talking, I could understand 70 percent of what she wanted to share. Today, she is on morphine every 2 hours. She is not eating, but able to sip water and other liquids. She faded in and out when I was there. I understood nothing. Except a comment she made about not being able to share her jokes because people didn't understand her anymore (last time I was there she told me she was like Helen Keller..and her words were the same..water is now waaaaaaaaaa). I also understood I love you. She can move her head slightly. She can look right at you intensely in hopes you know what she is trying to say in her silence. And I did. She can cry. And we can share that as well. Hardest thing about this? Knowing behind her non ability to speak is Julie. Who I have known and loved for 35 plus years. Too bad I can't jump into her brain for a while and chat. Like old times.
I so miss her silliness. I miss her adeptness to find complicated situations and make a big joke out of it. I miss her playing the saxophone, even though she hasn't played for quite some time. Oh, how I miss dancing with her. Playing darts at the dart parties. Late nights in Baltimore where we would go home at 1 AM to get money to drink more, even though the bars closed in 20 minutes. I miss her musical instruments that always came with her to parties. I just miss her even though she is still here.
No one should have to suffer from something like this. It's inhumane, cruel, and miserable. Yet, as I left her this afternoon in tears, she simply looked at me and said "Waaaaaaaaaaa......" I left with laughter.
Julie died Sunday morning, November 17th quietly at her home. She had the great fortune in being able to live in her house til the end and be cared for by friends, family, and caretakers. Her friends came regularly to share shots of tequila and fabulous prepared food when she still capable of swallowing. She shared lots of laughter despite what she was facing and she was determined to focus on what was good and present, not what was coming. She made it to a baseball game where they arranged a skybox for us. There were regular girl's weekends, baseball watching, and making sure her cats got attention as Julie lost her ability to pet them. We love her sisters for making it possible to have Julie live and be where she most wanted to be-her home with her animals surrounded with all the people who loved her. Peace has arrived for her, which brings some comfort. Go ahead.
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