Absurdity in reality TV

Ok, I am the first to admit I am a reality TV fan. Maybe not an addict, but I do find my DVR is filled with Real Housewives (or, as Andrew calls it, Real Hobags), Profect Runway, Top Chef, Survivor, Pregnant in Heels and occasionally My Strange Addictions (which is not my passion, but Andrew loves it). However, I think its time to draw the line. After recent announcements of new reality by a variety of cable networks, I feel it is my duty to report what is in store for other fans like myself, so you can exercise your power to shut the damn TV off and pick up a book.

Amish Mafia
Ok, really? First of all, there is a mafia among the Amish? And what exactly are they controlling-quilt sales? Black Market Shoo Fly Pies? Do they run you down with Horse and buggys? My brother had shared a scenario that acurately reflects what we might see in an upcoming episode:

...."Abraham." " It appears that Ishmael was found using real buttons on his jacket!" " It's time we sent a message to these punks." " Go fetch 3 shoo fly pies and 5 pounds of Amish potato salad and meet me at the Wockenfus's barn at midnight."....

Moonshiners
Yes, they still make moonshine in Appalachia, sometimes illegally. This series introduces us to some of the men and women who practice this 200-year-old tradition. How do they come up with their special formulas, and what do they have to do to avoid the long arm of the law, which is just as vigorous as in Prohibition days?

I think they deserve some credit that they can actually function enough to drink Moonshine and be on a reality show at the same time. Wait...maybe thats the best case scenario.

Whisker Wars
This docu-comedy is centered in the world of competitive facial-hair growing. Seems this might be a slow moving documentary. Do they include women who have some facial hair issues? Can't wait for Haircut Carving.

My Strange Addiction...Never Nude
This is a group of individuals who are never without clothes, 24 hours a day. They dress for work, bathe, sleep, without ever taking their clothes. This is just plain...ew. Truthfully, there are times I prefer not to be nude, but sometimes you have to throw caution to the wind and be free. Perhaps therapy could be a visit to a nudist colony.

Happy Viewing!

problem patrons

I was going to do a quick piece on the great theater we saw this weekend..including the christmas spectacular with the Rockettes(my god, 3d glasses, fireworks, ice skating, camels..it continues to be the show to see) but I was faced with our most recent patron problem..like we don't have enough.
This is an older woman with a walker and her quasi-sane son, who are heavy library users. They are here daily. He is a scruffy man in his early 50's, very thick glasses, not very attractive, who is now destined to live with his mother until her dying days. His mother shuffles in with her walker, which often is so slow, that i have winced as the automatic doors close as she enters. I have seen her caught in those doors twice, as her unaware son walks in before her to take care of library business. The more bigger issue in her odor. Now, I really thought my odor days were pretty much over when I left Pratt library and the homeless population. But no, I am not so fortunate and truly it was so bad, I finally had to have a heart to heart with her son.
No one wantes to have these kinds of conversations. They are uncomfortable and embarrassing. He told me she has a UTI that she can't get rid of despite all the antibiotics the doctor puts her on. Now really, a UTI that has been going on for 6 months? I tried being sensitive, offered a book of senior services to help caregivers, and told him that if she won't listen to him, perhaps the threat of never coming back to the library might encourage her to address the issue. Its sad, but how does her son not notice this? Not sure I got through. Perhaps we can time the visit so it's the same time as the sit down man, who smells like a musty basement. One might counteract the other.